How many times have we set ourselves up freely for disappointments?
How many times have we been set up to disappoint?
It’s a reoccurring phenomenon we are all aware of. An uncontrollable habit or expectation we place.
I tend to have a hard time understanding disappointment. I used to interpret it ALL as intentional. I felt as though people were trying to disappoint me.
However, as the years have gone by I’ve been able to take the “me” out of the equation. I’ve been able to stop putting myself into everything and just observe and realize people have other things going on.
A little background on me. I grew up a little spoiled. Yes, I know, your shocked huh? *sarcasm*
I grew up with a single mother, raising 4 of us.
My two cousins, my sister and lil o’ me in Rochester, NY.
The youngest by 7 Years.
I was the baby and definitely was treated like it. Long story short, disappointment rarely came into my life. Or rarely was acknowledged. I was always able to live and care about my “little o’ world” selfishly. Maybe it was because I realized disappointment at an early stage of my life, but we won’t get into it today. Long story short, I acquired the habit of just choosing to become numb.
Now that I’ve realized disappointment can hit me everyday, there is a new perspective on it rather than ignoring its existence.
For one, Ive been able to grasp the concept of being disappointed. For two, I’ve been able to tie disappointment as an emotion. And for three, the reality that it may have not been intentional started becoming my initial thought.
Those are just the steps I take.
Disappointment is a hard topic to discuss because we are taught to suppress those emotions. We however are also taught to not place expectations. But when the two cross paths, which is the right component?
For me, I believe acknowledging your views on a disappointment, failed expectation, is key. But the way you react to it is actually the primary focus. With my evolution in self-development I’ve been able to learn that disappointment will always be there but sometimes things we desire are not what we need. Sometimes things are meant to just be taken at face value. When you stop placing expectations and just let things evolve the way it needs to naturally, you will realize nothing in life can be controlled.
There are two option: Either it’s meant for you or it’s not. So yes, you may be disappointed. And yes, you had expectations. And no, you’re not wrong for having expectations because it’s gives you a view on your desires. It shows you what you are willing to settle for and what you are not willing to settle for.
So if it’s either a relationship, job opportunity, self achievement , test score, weight goal, completed sale etc. Keep striving for what you desire. Acknowledge that disappointments happen and realize they are meant to be in your life sometimes to shape it. Also, never let disappointments stop your end goal because maybe the route you took just wasn’t the right one. If that’s the case, just get on a new path and continue towards the goal.
So in summary. Life happens but the way you react to it is key.
Disappoinments are meant to show you your desires.
Expectations are also meant to show you your desires.
Modify any failed attempts to help create your desired reality.
But realize, disappointments happen naturally. You cannot control what is meant to happen in your life, however you have a choice if you would like to ACCEPT it in your life.
Welcome to another Wednesday blog posting where we tap within and focus on self-development.
Old ways won’t open NEW doors.
Say it out loud now.
Doesn’t that just send shivers all over your body?
How many times do we wish for new things in our lives but don’t want to take the proper steps or do the necessary work to obtain it?
If you didn’t say a lot, I’ll say a lot for you.
It’s hard to change things about ourselves because of our desired goals. We subconsciously think we can reach things without having to change anything. Because who ideally wants to change?
It’s only when our goals and our lifestyles happen to cross paths that we then force ourselves to further develop and “choose”.
Progression is a key component if you are trying to obtain a lifestyle you’ve never lived before. Most of us, I won’t say all, are striving for the unknown territory. Territory we dream about. Territory we feel in our hearts. “Our Desired Life Outcome” I’ll call it.
In order to reach this territory a lot of work will need to be put in. A lot of opening and closing doors.
You have to be willing to push yourself outside your comfort zone to get to that “Desired Life Outcome”. Try new things. Try odd things. Learn about the true you and do not care how you may be portrayed.
Force yourself into an unknown territory to learn again and possibly fail. It’s okay to fail. It’s wonderful to fail. Failing means you were willing to take risks.
Being okay with consistency means you are scared of risks and possible rejection. You therefore would be too scared to learn about your own weaknesses. The only way to truly succeed is to uncover those weaknesses and try until you conquer the hurdles.
As I push myself to open a new door, I’m pushing my readers to do the same. Take a step into a new journey, a journey of Optimistic Searchings.
Who are we to define how an individual should look or how it technically looks to be healthy?
A topic that has been debated for years, has surfaced again in a new light.
I saw a picture yesterday on Essence’s Instagram that made me feel remarkably happy and inspired. A women, who seemed to be hiking in MachuPicchu, was rocking her athletic gear and letting the world know she made it and was there to conquer. Or at least that’s what I was thinking in my head.
Before I continue rambling, here is the photo below;
Isn’t it dope? I love how this photo makes her seem very knowledgeable about her physical strength, but with confidence. Back to the forefront of the topic, why are images like this never shown in athletic campaigns or as a health image? To me it seems that she is very fit with her abs in formation like Beyoncé and her arms looking stronger than the Rock Johnson’s.
This picture is just so powerful.
In yesterday’s Facebook live stream I discussed how setting your own path on how to live is important. No one is you. No one can be you. No one can declare who you are. There is nothing wrong with following helpful guides and tips on how to be healthier and in better shape for yourself. However, in the end of the day you will need to decide on what is the end goal that makes you feel the best. What in the end makes you feel happy. What in the end makes you feel the most confident.
Make yourself a priority. At the end of the day, you’re your longest commitment.
I guess I’ve pushed back this day hoping I had more control over my current state.
Since we’ve last spoken I’ve progressed positively emotionally, mentally and spiritually to a state I desired to obtain.
Grasping of the Mind.
Continuously a hard thing to wrap our hands around because our mind is continuously evolving. Our perspectives and bias opinions are always changing to the point we don’t even know ourselves on a daily basis. But changing in a good way. Closer to our destiny mentally.
We learn New things.
Center around Different Environments.
Within the past two years I’ve been able to logically think things through rather than jump the gun on an initial thought. This is a major accomplishment because this used to hold me back from a lot of social experiences. Trying to obtain a healthy control over the mind is a necessity. It gets you through your emotions and pushes you closer to who you need to be in this world.
I used to hate people and now I run a business for people.
Face to Face, Verbal to Verbal, Message to Message contact.
Who would have thought.
However, now that I’m getting close to grasping my purpose in life due to what my mind graviates too, life has become so much easier. Once you realize who you actually are becoming, your grip starts to release.
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This post might seem irrelevant to my other content but it’s something that needs to be said.
As people, we tend to filter out our actions between our own thought processes. We tend to take the easier route out of things, rather than support our initial beliefs.
Another man was killed today by our wonderful “justice system”. Like a piece of meat, right out in the open with no care for the life or soul it once lived. This issue continuously is getting out of hand. Resulting in the justice system being injustice because of the hundreds of deaths occurring every couple of months.
I cannot wrap my head around this.
How is this legal?
This issue is past the point of white vs. black.
The real issue is there seems to be an “entitled group” allowed to dominate our lives with no repercussions. People should not get killed by cops, found neither guilty or innocent.
I’m a firm supporter against gun violence and trafficking.
AMERICA is not the land of freedom, it’s the land for freedom to die and be oppressed.
How can anyone be safe in this country? Who is actually protected? In my opinion, police are just another example of gang voilence that cannot be categorized.
As a Summary:
Murdering innocent men based on profiling seems to be okay in this country.
Increased homicides due to “misjudgment” seems to be okay in this country.
I can’t lie. I’m struggling at the moment with this idea. Up to a certain age we are pointed in the “right” direction, given steps and tips on becoming this person who in the end will create stability. In a sense, this is a home for our developed souls, for us to be ourselves, comfortable and have a calm with no worries. Our parents protect us from the unknown, because they don’t want us to go through the inevitable stresses they once were welcomed too. Because of the unknown.
The Unknown = My Journey
My Journey = Me
If this equation is correct, why won’t I allow the journey to progress on its own? Am I scared of who I actually may be? Am I scared of the real me? Am I scared of all the failures and accomplishments I may endure.
Why yes I am scared. Shit scared of the endless memories I will have outside of my own control.
I wish I could be free of the fear. This fear is beginning to turn me into a snail. Shamed and scared to expose this unsureness that reads all over my face. This wanting to be alone to discover this “Sophia identity”.
The funny thing about all this is that I realize this about myself. I talk about this with others. I’m aware of my fears. I’m not in denial.
A lot turn spiritually to get some clear guidance, but even with that it is still unclear. If I, Sophia, cannot figure out who I am, how can I have this belief that someone else can.
I am religious, for more reasons than one. Such an organic relationship I have created between me and the man above. I guess my main question is, do I let go of ALL and LET God? or is it a 45%-55% relationship? Am I holding my end of the bargain? I just have so many questions and I would like to demand answers but even when I’m faced with answers I still have questions.
Nothing is ever good enough. I want arrows as a form of direction and a written book about how to be Sophia.
Only time will tell they say. So maybe the unknown is going to be my reality for a while and I, Sophia, need to just get adjusted to it.
Life isn’t a Cinderella story, I’m very clear about that. My life therefore has no story as of yet, because it has never been created. Every day I awake, with the unknown, is a new day for me to discover and live the life I was blessed to have. So in the end maybe having the chance to have access to the unknown is a blessing in disguise. Maybe I just need to accept the fact that I am blessed. View the unknown as a gift from the man upstairs.
So, yea, it’s been a while. I’ve been super busy, with my resume business and this wonderful website of mine. Adding content on a weekly, sometimes daily basis. Trying to give it love and attention to continuously immerse it into greatness.
With that being said, it’s time to post my actual thoughts. Post my actual opinions, so as a reader you can get a look into who I am. It’s time for me to vent and just “talk”.
Personal goals, we all have them I hope. From losing weight to picking up a new hobby, personal goals are what keeps us progressing towards an improved version of ourselves. No personal goal is stupid in my opinion, personal goals form you into your own identity. Although we may have desired accomplishments, our environment; people, living situation, jobs, state, weather etc., may not allow us to pursue it. I find myself getting caught in between choosing which one I would like to control my destiny. It’s hard to have the same focus and effort on your own personal goals if your environment is not always supportive.
I find myself distanced from things I don’t want to entertain for a long period of time. Or sometimes I find myself saying “ahhh f it all, I’ll be fine with a little fun or a distraction from my personal goal”. What I’m struggling most with currently is choosing what my personal goals should be. I toss ideas in my head on a daily, but it seems like my environment is still effecting my personal goals. Environment influences directly related to finances. I mean think about it, if someone would write you a blank check towards something you really need what would you ask for? I believe I would ask for financial support to complete some certifications and possibly go back to school. The thought of adding on more debt with loans is not an option for me. I will not continue to be this financial slave. Always paying bills to help entities around me and barely being able to help myself….
I’m going to figure it out though. I will not let this break me down. Where there is a will, there is definitely a way. I will get this done. I always gave myself until 30 years old to be completed with Grad’s school. I have a few more months to figure this out
As you can see there is a lot on my mind because I always getting side tracked with my own thoughts.
The purpose of this post is to let you realize there will always be outside influences (your environment) that can affect your personal goals.
Always listen to your gut feeling. But don’t force yourself to believe a predetermined gut feeling. Let your emotions and mind talk to each other to get “your” true perspective on it. Your gut proves to sway your movement and judgment more than your very own brain in some situations.
Depending on how you operate. If you sense something , good or bad, just take note of it,observe it and then form an opinion.
The wonderful thing about life is that we are continuously faced with different obstacles. Now however you view those obstacles are by choice. My stance on viewing them is “whatever happens, happens “. Within Reason. If you know it’s something that should not be tolerated, address it and then decide how to go forth with it.
I’m in a space that I can learn everyday, on my own for my own. In a space that I can appreciate the chances to learn and grow. In a space that I can make my own decisions and reactions based on what has occurred. I am not perfect, far from it. I lack the true meaning of social skills. But I’m trying. I want to learn how to control “Sophia” better. Become more Calm and Collective. Become a better person for people to want to be around.
So to make this post short, my final verdict is take note of your gut feeling but wait out whatever is creating that gut feeling. Patience. WOOOOSAHHHH. Sometimes we just need those 10 minutes of silence to reevaluate our initial gut and form our opinion.