Justice System + All Lives Matter = Unity

Reflection # 10

Justice System + All Lives Matter = Unity

This post might seem irrelevant to my other content but it’s something that needs to be said.

As people, we tend to filter out our actions between our own thought processes. We tend to take the easier route out of things, rather than support our initial beliefs.

Another man was killed today by our wonderful “justice system”. Like a piece of meat, right out in the open with no care for the life or soul it once lived. This issue continuously is  getting out of hand. Resulting in the justice system being injustice because of the hundreds of deaths occurring every couple of months.

I cannot wrap my head around this.

How is this legal?

This issue is past the point of white vs. black.

The real issue is there seems to be an “entitled group” allowed to dominate our lives with no repercussions. People should not get killed by cops, found neither guilty or innocent.

I’m a firm supporter against gun violence and trafficking.

AMERICA is not the land of freedom, it’s the land for freedom to die and be oppressed.

How can anyone be safe in this country? Who is actually protected? In my opinion,  police are just another example of gang voilence that cannot be categorized.

As a Summary:

Murdering innocent men based on profiling seems to be okay in this country.

Increased homicides due to “misjudgment” seems to be okay in this country.





This needs to stop.


The Unknown

Reflection # 9

The Unknown.

This Uncomfortableness.

This strange feeling of forced hope.

This cause of insecurity and vulnerability.

I can’t lie. I’m struggling at the moment with this idea. Up to a certain age we are pointed in the “right” direction, given steps and tips on becoming this person who in the end will create stability. In a sense, this is a home  for our developed souls, for us to be ourselves, comfortable and have a calm with no worries. Our parents protect us from the unknown, because they don’t want us to go through the inevitable stresses they once were welcomed too. Because of the unknown.

The Unknown = My Journey

My Journey = Me

If this equation is correct, why won’t I allow the journey to progress on its own? Am I scared of who I actually may be? Am I scared of the real me? Am I scared of all the failures and accomplishments I may endure.

Why yes I am scared. Shit scared of the endless memories I will have outside of my own control.

I wish I could be free of the fear. This fear is beginning to turn me into a snail. Shamed and scared to expose this unsureness that reads all over my face. This wanting to be alone to discover this “Sophia identity”.

The funny thing about all this is that I realize this about myself. I talk about this with others. I’m aware of my fears. I’m not in denial.

A lot turn spiritually to get some clear guidance, but even with that it is still unclear. If I, Sophia, cannot figure out who I am, how can I have this belief that someone else can.

I am religious, for more reasons than one. Such an organic relationship I have created between me and the man above. I guess my main question is, do I let go of ALL and LET God? or is it a 45%-55% relationship? Am I holding my end of the bargain?  I just have so many questions and I would like to demand answers but even when I’m faced with answers I still have questions.

I’m Inquisitive.

Nothing is ever good enough. I want arrows as a form of direction and a written book about how to be Sophia.

Only time will tell they say. So maybe the unknown is going to be my reality for a while and I, Sophia, need to just get adjusted to it.

Life isn’t a Cinderella story, I’m very clear about that. My life therefore has no story as of yet, because it has never been created. Every day I awake, with the unknown, is a new day for me to discover and live the life I was blessed to have. So in the end maybe having the chance to have access to the unknown is a blessing in disguise. Maybe I just need to accept the fact that I am blessed. View the unknown as  a gift from the man upstairs.

Therefore I guess,

The Unknown = Me.

That is who I ideally may be.

Personal Goals vs. Your Environment

Reflection # 8

Personal Goals vs. Your Environment

So, yea, it’s been a while. I’ve been super busy, with my resume business and this wonderful website of mine. Adding content on a weekly, sometimes daily basis. Trying to give it love and attention to continuously immerse it into greatness.

With that being said, it’s time to post my actual thoughts. Post my actual opinions, so as a reader you can get a look into who I am. It’s time for me to vent and just “talk”.

Personal goals, we all have them I hope. From losing weight to picking up a new hobby, personal goals are what keeps us progressing towards an improved version of ourselves. No personal goal is stupid in my opinion, personal goals form you into your own identity. Although we may have desired accomplishments, our environment; people, living situation, jobs, state, weather etc., may not allow us to pursue it.  I find myself getting caught in between choosing which one I would like to control my destiny. It’s hard to have the same focus and effort on your own personal goals if your environment is not always supportive.

I find myself distanced from things I don’t want to entertain for a long period of time. Or sometimes I find myself saying “ahhh f it all, I’ll be fine with a little fun or a distraction from my personal goal”. What I’m struggling most with currently is choosing what my personal goals should be. I toss ideas in my head on a daily, but it seems like my environment is still effecting my personal goals. Environment influences directly related to finances. I mean think about it, if someone would write you a blank check towards something you really need what would you ask for? I believe I would ask for financial support to complete some certifications and possibly go back to school. The thought of adding on more debt with loans is not an option for me. I will not continue to be this financial slave. Always paying bills to help entities around me and barely being able to help myself….

I’m going to figure it out though. I will not let this break me down. Where there is a will, there is definitely a way. I will get this done. I always gave myself until 30 years old to be completed with Grad’s school. I have a few more months to figure this out

As you can see there is a lot on my mind because I always getting side tracked with my own thoughts.

The purpose of this post is to let you realize there will always be outside influences (your environment) that can affect your personal goals.

Don’t let it deteriorate you.

If you want it, you can obtain it.

You just have to be focused and proactive.

Listening To Your Gut

Reflection # 7

Listening To Your Gut

Always listen to your gut feeling.  But don’t force yourself to believe a predetermined gut feeling. Let your emotions and mind talk to each other to get “your” true perspective on it. Your gut proves to sway your movement and judgment more than your very own brain in some situations.

Depending on how you operate. If you sense something , good or bad,  just take note of it,observe it and then form an opinion.

The wonderful thing about life is that we are continuously faced with different obstacles. Now however you view those obstacles are by choice. My stance on viewing them is “whatever happens, happens “. Within Reason. If you know it’s something that should not be tolerated, address it and then decide how to go forth with it.

I’m in a space that I can learn everyday, on my own for my own. In a space that I can appreciate the chances to learn and grow. In a space that I can make my own decisions and reactions based on what has occurred. I am not perfect, far from it. I lack the true meaning of social skills. But I’m trying. I want to learn how to control “Sophia” better. Become more Calm and Collective. Become a better person for people to want to be around.

So to make this post short, my final verdict is take note of your gut feeling but wait out whatever is creating that gut feeling. Patience. WOOOOSAHHHH. Sometimes we just need those 10 minutes of silence to reevaluate our initial gut and form our opinion.

Being You or Being Accepted

Reflection #5

Being You or Being Accepted

Hahaha. I just had to start this post with some laughter.

Why is it so hard for people to accept you for being you? When I use this phrase, “being you”, I’m referencing the imaginary guidelines for how you should look and how you should act in order to receive acceptance. As you get older you start transitioning into the person you desire to be. Your look changes, your attitude changes, your goals change etc etc. However, the funniest part of this whole thing is, when you are on the right path of self-discovery , people voluntarily give feedback  you never asked for. In addition to that, most of the time it’s negative. People are just not comfortable with the idea of breaking themselves away from the “NORM”.

When does that pressure  of  the social norm or social image disappear?When will people just accept who you truly are and let you be happy with it and move on. For instance, I’m a 26 year-old Jamaican and Haitian woman  with naturally tight curled hair ,go figure. But for some reason my hair was straight practically my whole life. Why is that?  I mean I received my first perm when I was in 5th grade. Then eventually, 2 years ago I decided to grow out my permed hair to become natural again. 6 months into that transition I then permed it again, due to the influence I had in my life. The fact that someone had enough control over me to influence my original decision makes me so mad at myself. But anyways, long story short, I’m natural again. The only difference now is that I did the big chop this time.I basically said screw it all. Let me just do what I want and be who I want. Whoever remains in my life after this are here because they have good intentions.

It’s unfortunate to even have to think so dramatically about this. The fact that, if I changed something on my body that it may impact how others view me. That’s the sad part. I feel like a lot of people are living their lives through social acceptance. However, how will you ever receive social acceptance if you do not accept your own-self. You have to be strong on your beliefs. You have to be strong on your morals.You also have to realize that people will not understand you completely, but that’s okay. They don’t need to understand you. They don’t need to understand why you are doing what you are doing.

The purpose of this post is to make you re-evaluate who you are trying to impress.Is it yourself or is it for someone else? Because if its for someone else you already know the right answer. If you give into people trying to let you know how to run your own life, you will never ever EVER have control of who YOU truly are.



Wasting My Time

Reflection #4

Wasting My Time

Optimization, an act, process, or methodology of making something (as a design, system, or decision) as fully perfect, functional, or effective as possible; specifically: the mathematical procedures (as finding the maximum of a function) involved in this.(Merriam-Webster).

Why is this action not used daily by people? When I think of optimization I think of saving time. Spending time going back and forth on something is not saving time.  As I get older my patience for things are decreasing. I mean my patience for everything has always been minuscule. People waste time more and more every day. Effort and time are wasted on meaningless relationships or tasks. But it’s up to you to know where optimization fits best in your life.

You’ve ever received an email at work, completed the task and then the requester comes back asking for additional information? This is a prime example of non-optimization. The optimization of time was not being used at all by the requester. Not only was their time wasted, but your time was also wasted because they, themselves did not optimize.

Working at a company you start to realize how there are many inefficient jobs. Is this a benefit or an inconvenience? What will happen if those jobs are eliminated? That’s an easy answer, there would be fewer jobs and but more productivity. But is that a bad thing? Why wouldn’t you want that? I imagine myself one day, growing balls and asking the Executive Board of my company or any company this question. Why do we have all these people working here if operation COULD continue without them? 8 hour days per employee, 4 hours of productivity within those 8 hour days. What if you gave the title and job responsibilities that are worth 2 people to 1 person? That’s what I call a well-oiled machine. You come to work, to work for the company not to lounge. Otherwise, if you have to much time on your hands you’ll just sit on the internet blogging on your website. OOOOPPPs, did I just reference myself?

The main point of this blog is not to slander my company or anyone’s idea of a productive day. The main purpose of this blog post is to make people focus on where their energy is going. Is your energy being directed towards all positive things that can help you progress in life? Or is there energy put into places you shouldn’t even waste. This is your life what you decide to do with it is your choice and only your choice. Don’t feel guilty for that. You’re not selfish for not wasting your time on unimportant things or unimportant people.

Grind Season

Reflection #3

Grind Season

So today I’m writing about the obvious, or at least it seems obvious to me. Never settle for or rely on just one source of income, make sure you have another source of incoming cash flow.

I’ve always been the type that’s needed consistent work to feel productive or complete. Whether it was joining organizations outside of work or working a second job, being busy is my second name. However, at this point in my life, I’ve decided to put my productive effort towards myself development. Build a name for me. And what better way to do that than to make money while pursuing my goals and dreams.

Everyone’s goals are different in life. Some people want to be CEOs of Fortune 500 companies and others just want to make enough money to retire and buy their own island. There is nothing wrong with both cases, however, I don’t see either of these two options as my life. My main goal and purpose are to just become a better me.

What does a better me entail? I have no clue, but I’m excited to learn. No kids, no husband, and no stress. It is the perfect stage to focus on developing myself for my future. The best part of it all is that I can become a better me because I desire to do it. Whatever you put your mind towards you can conquer it. I’m not saying that if you have kids or a spouse you cannot accomplish your set goals. I’m simply stating that flexibility with time may not be an option. But that shouldn’t stop you from reaching your goals. As someone once told me, ” If you need time, you’ll make time”. So you’ll make time if you need time, right?

With that being said, I’m not only pushing myself to accomplish all my goals and dreams, but I’m also pushing you as well. Be the better you desire to be because we only have one life to live. We have no choice but to live it to the fullest.